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10月27日 Is anyone ever good enough?Now, i am under immense pressure to get one.
Last time it was the "omg?" or "what happened??" look when people found out I didnt have a girlfriend. People, please don't impose these kind of reactions on me. As for my close friends.. yeeah, I probably deserve it if you guys said that.
Sometimes it seems like some fluke. I mean, I have barely been able to make any dependable friends, this past 1 and a half years. Let alone a girlfriend. Its just so... wtf right? Or maybe its just an excuse. Im trying to convince myself im making an excuse. Be it self righteousness, inability to find the right one whatsoever. Amelia. Thats her name. It has always been her, and only her. And of course, Im over her.. like duh.. thats why I said that name. And now, to think that a movie had to come out with that title "Amelia"??? YES AND OMG SAW 6 IS COMNG OUT HOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok that was so no link
There always had been prettier girls, girls who were elegant in their own way, and importantly, they had a good heart. But I dont know, they didnt seem to appeal. Things would have worked out. Like there were all the you know... signs.... hints... stares... etc. But I seem so unattracted? AND NO, this is not an instance of a guy becoming gay or anything. Everytime I tried to explain how I felt about her, to --> edbert and dhinesh, it just seemed like I was talking fish language to them, or to them I just seemed plain - fucking retarded. They never understood how I felt, and I dont blame them, because I have yet to come across a person who does.
And Im living in my own world. Walking in town, music blasting, hands shoved in my pocket I walk. Walking through the flow of people, my mind is in its own world wondering how did I manage to fall out from my indifference and fall so flat out for a girl? Its probably unhealthy. And also, to whoever is reading this blog. Seriously. Why would anyone read a blog that's updated a few times a month? I dont get it. Maybe its the same group of people wondering what's going on in my mind. At least, from tonight on, you'll know her name. And im really afraid of hurting other people upon posting this entry.
I always hope. That sometime, somewhere, somehow, I would meet the right one. We would be the same. You could just see it in our eyes, how we fit together, how people would say "wow, these two were made for each other" and there couldn't have been a better match or maybe, how we just wouldn't care about the rest of the world and start living in our new lives loving each other. I believe in the love I know. It does exist, I've seen it and Im sure of it.
Use your heart,
And never settle for something less.
The right one is truely worth waiting for 10月20日 Back2BasicsBack2Basics. That was the top clan in Gunz.
Sigh, holidays ended and the first day of school was yesterday. You know starting school again seems somewhat like giving up my normal life. Well from now till like dec, I'll be living in a little hole waiting for holidays to come again. Sometimes I feel people are just lacking the "basic" stuff that makes a person. Like the basics you expect people to have, can be obviously seen lacking in many people. Its just back to basics. But at least, now there's some form of hope. I made it to aerospace. You know, its been a while since anyone told me that we're the best-or rather supposed to be. And one thing's for sure, im not. But at least im being told that im supposed to, and that makes me somewhat more focused in life.
Hmmm, I DID actually managed to complete some of the stuff I had to do during the hols. Shopping? Repaired the F2B plane, not much work done on the F2D. Ate some good food this hols, and spent like so much lol. way to much, shopping, WWW, chalet, BBQ, movies LAN and maybe a lil of fine dining. Been going out like almost everyday... Oh well, it was worth it. I was kinda amazed I only spent 3 bucks yesterday.
Oh yes, and on the last weekend, I flew the F2B plane. Was a little nervous but all went well. (imagine flying a plane worth a few hundred, zz scary man) Sunday we went LAN all the way into the night lol, pretty awesome.
€oncre†e/-ƒini†y-
New Ownage Style 10月12日 Fight much?Last friday night was great.
went down to wild wild wet, jimmy and the whole jing gang of st andrews peeps. Then later on, I went all the way up north to check out some martial arts stuff. Had a good chat with some passionate martial artists till like 11pm? It just felt soo good, unleashing the whole barage of information that I had on this topic which was all cramped up in my head for so long.. onto them.
Whilst talking to them, it just struck me. There are a number of arrogant fighters out there. Really. Everytime I talk to some martial arts guy, it seems like he's trying to sell himself or something. Anddddd..... as usual, I was the youngest there. Lol? why is it always like that? That night everyone there was like 23? 20 plus? And this other guy freaking had a wife and prolly a couple of kids. Even back in the old MMA or "ken" club, I was the youngest lol. It was later disbanded when some of the members went for NS. And I kinda realised that i was still in sec school. But I guess fighting older, taller and heavier people has given me some valuable experience.
Even on that night, I witnessed this sparring session, this wing chun guy unleashing all his 6 years of skills on a humble opponent. Was really surprised. Wing chun is actually a cut from the rest, probably the next "level" of fighting you can say.
Haha, so now you might know just a little more about me.
Mark-
10月6日 FaithFaith, is a nice name ain't it?
There's just a nice meaning behind it, one of hope. And nope, having hope shouldnt be seen as being pathetic. Afterall, sometimes we're just bound to fall down in life. Just like love, you havent really loved her, if you haven't really fallen flat out for her. Well thats just what I believe.
We just gotta have faith in friendships and relationships. There's just too much to think about. There's just so much one can do. In the end, you gotta have faith in your best friends. And in the end, you just gotta leave it to her.
Sometimes, you have to leave it all up to God dont you think? And hope. Hope that the long time you spent with your best friends were significant, and you just hope everything negative is just a passing moment. Sometimes, you trust that she felt it too. And leave it to God and fate, and trust that if we were really meant, then by fate good things will happen.
Faith, hope, trust, fate and God.
Tschau
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